Tag Archives: Museum Victoria

Science Week Begins With Melbourne Museum Stealing My Heart

museum victoria qantassaurus


Melbourne Museum – I could totally live in you. I know that sounds like something a psychopath would say, but there’s no other way to put it. And it doesn’t have to be the whole entire building, just the Science and Life Gallery would be fine. And yes, both floors please. Just rope it off and everyone else can go crazy everywhere else. Quietly. I get the dinosaurs and the taxidermy and the insects.

Except you’re going to have to move the spiders elsewhere, particularly the live ones and particularly the live ones that aren’t even in boxes. What is that, MM? I honestly stood there for like five minutes straight trying to come to terms with the fact that there’s literally nothing except a giant room-sized web between those orb-weavers and us, and I know they aren’t particularly dangerous and have no reason to come out of their giant room-sized web and mingle with the humans, but that’s not the point. They’re still spiders, MM. You’re playing with fire in a giant room-sized web.

Science on Show

National Science Week - Science on Show

Science on Show - Mammology Display

National Science Week kicked into gear yesterday and Melbourne Museum was the absolute best place to spend the first day. And I’m not just saying that because that’s what I did and obviously have no comparison. But…

* Live insects

* Museum experts

* Australia’s best scientific illustrators

I rest my case.

I began with Science on Show, which involved half a dozen display tables filled with stuffed, bottled and boxed specimens, Australian megafauna fossils and a model crab the size of a curled up human child and so on, all manned by various experts from the Museum. I got to pat a taxidermied tapir and made some dumb comment about how it looks like it’s stuck in a really powerful wind tunnel with that posture (well it does), rifle through a trolley’s worth of poltergeist-esque sea creatures in jars, and get mad at the terrestrial invertebrates expert for holding up two huge bottled spiders and making me compare their fangs. DO NOT WANT, as they say.

Then I may or may not have rendered myself the creepiest person in the building by deciding I wanted these for my livingroom:

National Science Week - Science on Show

Science on Show - Ornithology Display

Yes. Rows and rows of tiny dead birds. That’s what I want in my house. Jesus. But it might come as less of a shock to you now when I tell you I want this room as my bedroom:

Continue reading



Filed under Animals, Archosaurs, Art, Events, Fossils, Free Stuff, Insects, Museum Stuff, Science, Sea Creatures

It’s Not All Mindless Sex With Beautiful Women, Placoderm


A team led by Australian palaeontologist, Dr John Long, have discovered one of the oldest reproductive organs to date, potentially shedding light on the sexual evolution of vertebrate organisms. Belonging to a 400 million-year-old Devonian armoured placoderm from the Gogo region of Western Australia, this long bone clasper with a knobbly end was attached to the pelvic organ and used to grip inside the female mate to assist with fertilisation.

According to study author and palaeontologist, Dr Kate Trinajstic, “It penetrates the female, and acts like a funnel, allowing the transfer of sperm.” Originally passed off in 2001 as just part of the pelvic girdle, Trinajstic reports that closer inspection revealed its true function, “We were surprised because it’s so big. We were expecting something smaller.”

The discovery, which will be published in the upcoming edition of Nature, follows on from the previous report by the Museum Victoria team revealing the first evidence for internal fertilisation with the discovery of a 380 million-year-old pregnant female placoderm fossil.

Now you might think this is all pretty awesome, Placoderm, being one of the first vertebrates to have a (surprisingly large) working penis, because it kind of means that all the ladies will have no choice but to sleep with you until the rest of the vertebrates hurry up and evolve. But I bet real soon you’re going to get pretty sick of being known as the only whore in town. Like sometimes you’re just going to want to go out for ice cream with some Coccosteus you might have accidentally had sex with this one time when you were both really drunk, but she’ll fully get the wrong idea and turn up to the gelato stand wearing her best clingy scales, and you’re like, “Well shit, I kind of just wanted to get ice cream and talk about the stock market with you, but we’re going to have to have sex after this aren’t we?”

And then you’ll get a text from some Rolfosteus being all, “Hey, what’s up? Haven’t seen you in ages!” and you’re like, “Yeah I’ve been busy. Work and whatever. How’s your weekend looking?” and she’ll be like, “Not bad, what are you doing Friday night?” And then you’ll accidentally invite her for drinks at the Sand Bar because you were going there anyway and you’d feel kind of rude if you didn’t, but then she turns up and you’re like, “Where are all your friends? Did you think this was a date? Oh…” And you’ll fully have to avoid her the whole time and tell your friends that you kind of hooked up with her like two years ago and you think she might still like you and it’s all really awkward. But of course your friends will think it’s totally hilarious and do their best to make things even more awkward for you by always going to the bathroom or the bar en masse, so you’ll end up doing a heap of shots and accidentally go home with some Pseudopetalichthys you just met instead.

Bet you miss the old days when it was all uncomplicated external fertilisation, now don’t you, Placoderm?

– bec


Filed under Fossils, Museum Stuff, Science, Sea Creatures