Oh Norwegian Red Fox, you are one of the nicest-looking terrestrial mammals around, which is why I would probably risk having my arm gnawed off in a ravenous frenzy just to scratch you behind your perfectly pointed ears. So it gives me no pleasure at all to have to say: You INFECTED!
A recent study coming out of the Norwegian School of Veterinary Science has found that cases of Trichina worm-infected foxes have become increasingly common in Norway, particularly in the southern and south-eastern areas, the worms having become accustomed to the freezing temperatures and hostile climate of the region. Bet you don’t feel like inviting your badger friends over to your den for whisky shots and chicken legs so you can laugh about all things avian and Suidae and flu now do you, Norwegian Red Fox?
But it’s not all bad, pretty creature, the same study has indicated that instances of scabies-related deaths have drastically decreased since the ‘nineties, because it seems you’ve managed to amass the relevant antibodies to combat the troublesome mite. No more gross itching and hair-loss, Norwegian Red Fox! And you have to admit, having scabies is way worse than Trichina worm anyway, so you’re doing alright. There was a period during my highschool years when scabies was the best punchline to every joke EVER, which was then replaced by Jesus, which in turn was replaced by everyone growing the fuck up. So count yourself lucky that you’re not a punchline for a fifteen-year-old, Norwegian Red Fox.