Running Dogs!

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Dogs that run and bite.

– bec

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4 Comments

Filed under Animals, Uncategorized

4 responses to “Running Dogs!

  1. AlphaMale99

    Dear “-bec”,

    Firstly, being a proper noun, shouldn’t the “-” in “-bec” be capitalised?
    Secondly, while your advice to save my breath for, and I quote, “Running Ponies” (sic) may seem sensible at the present moment, I still have some concerns. Primarily, I worry that should I indeed reserve my breath exclusively for the advent of speedily ambulatory equines, should such a circumstance fail to eventuate, would not the aforementioned saved breath be subsequently wasted like a moderately attractive woman with a slightly unusual but delightfully quirky personality who spends her life waiting for that mythical, Hollywood-hyped “Mr. Right”? Does not the Bible state that, “Thou shall not place all of thine eggs in the one basket”? Furthermore, when you recommend the saving of breath, do you recommend the hoarding of all my oxygen intake/outake or merely a part of it? If so, specifically which part of it would be best reserved for these scurrying stallions, these dashing mares, these frolicking foals that you are so enamoured with? Does the accumulation of said breath exclude the investment of breath in other breath-heavy ventures, such as the cooling of porridge, whistling or sighing? I would be loath to miss any opportunity to whistle or cool porridge merely because I am reserving breath for the purposes of horses based on the advice of an author of a website that has not even been launched yet. What sort of returns can I expect on my breath, compared to if I were to invest my breath in a fixed-term breath deposit or in government breath-bonds? What sort of terms do you offer? This brings me to my final question regarding the whole saving breath/running ponies phenomenon that has apparently taken the nation by storm; to what end am I saving breath? The real issue is, once these promised horses actually arrive, whinnying and neighing in all their sleek grace, like majestic avatars of a Peter Shaffer play, how shall I be utilising my breath to further my own personal breath wealth? Please be aware that should it require any tomfoolery on my part, this is not the best course of action for me.

    Please assuage my anxieties by replying fortwith to my queries. If you are unable to answer all these questions to my satisfaction, then I think you should be warned that perhaps you should not be offering breath investment advice willy-nilly. Thanking you in advance,

    AlphaMale99

  2. ralake

    Dear AlphaMale99,

    If that’s even your real name. Such contemplation implies that you have too much time on your hands.

    Other things you can do with your time:
    1) Get a job.
    2) Make me a sandwich.
    3) Get a job making me a sandwich.

    Kind Regards,
    Girl Desperately In Need Of A Sandwich

  3. jonell

    jonell wishes he could write shit up like alphamale99

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